THE ONLY GOAL YOU NEED

I’ve got a tool you can start using today to unlock your most fulfilled life and it’s totally FREE… 

It’s gratitude.  But hear me out before you scroll on thinking “yeah I know this”

We know this - gratitude can boost serotonin and activate the production of dopamine. But what does that mean? 

Low serotonin creates decreased confidence, makes you more reactive to stress, less happiness, more pain and anxiety, more illness and a shorter life span.  

But get this - this is still a factor even if life gets better. 

So you could get a pay rise, meet the love of your life, connect with high quality friends, overcome a health crisis… but if your serotonin levels remain low, you are still dealing with the above ramifications.  

WHAT THE?

What I am saying, in essence, is that gratitude can completely turn your life around through the simple fact that it can support your body to reverse these. 

One fast, simple and effective practice can mean - 

:: increased confidence

:: the ability to handle stress better 

:: more happiness (no matter what changes in life) 

:: less physical pain and anxiety 

:: healthier body

:: longer life span

And one more time… it’s completely free and takes a few minutes (if that) per day. 

My hope for you is that the resolution or goal you put the most focus and attention on this year, is practicing gratitude. 

For the sake of your health, happiness and life.  

Ange x

WHAT I LEARNT TODAY

Recently I’ve been pulled to the thought of writing for the sake of writing. And then I remembered, I have a platform here that allows me to be completely creative and free in this respect.

I know that in order to have more, you need to do more. I’ve been craving more creativity, spirituality and connection to myself. To have more of that, I know I need to be more creative, focus on my spirituality and spend more time connecting to me.

So I’m going to start writing in here, for the sake of writing. Maybe one person will read this and maybe 1000 will but it doesn’t matter, what matters is that I’m sharing and adding value, and the right person will see this as they are meant to.

This morning I woke up feeling pretty crappy and I wanted to stay in bed and snuggle with Maple (my puppy). But some sort of knowing made me get up regardless and put on my clothes. I’ve been sleeping in more over the last two years than I ever have. Before my uncoupling I was always up at 5am to start the day but lately, cuddles, puppies (I really want to blame the puppy cuddles for extended sleep ins!) and the desire for comfort has me staying in too long. But with that I’ve definitely found myself feeling less grounded.

I decided to walk and listen to a new podcast that I can’t for the life of me remember where I found it. It was really good. It was perfectly timed and about what to do when you’re feeling uninspired. And like any good podcast, I can’t really remember the specifics of what she spoke about, but I remember the way she made me feel. I was reminded of my power to create my own energy and not just let life LIVE me.

I got myself a green juice, I sat on a chair on by the beach and I watched the world go by. The seat was the most comfortable place I felt like I had ever sat. I rested, drank juice and listened to a meditation. It just felt good. And what I realised is, that I could literally have made one small decision that would have had me missing that moment. That life is literally just a collection of choices we make each day.

The decision to get up or sleep in.

To take the shortcut or go the scenic route.

To listen to a meditation or call a friend and gossip.

To take an extra 10 minutes to meditate in nature.

Life really isn’t the big ‘instagrammable’ moments. The wedding proposals, holidays, new outfits or forever home purchase. It really is those tiny moments that create the threads of your day, but eventually will coat your life as the fabric that you created through those decisions.

So today I’m not focusing on perfect. I’m just going to make a better decisions in each moment and see where that takes me.

Ange x

YOUR FREQUENCY MATTERS

I often have heard that people take action to either avoid pain or gain pleasure.

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We go to the party because we want to have fun.

We avoid the party because we don’t want to see that mean girl.

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We eat that chocolate because it’s delicious.

We avoid that chocolate because we feel we’ve gained weight.

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We do the activities to build our business to create abundance.

We avoid the activities in our business because we fear rejection.

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And so being someone who’s main driver in life is to support people to push past their limits to create the life of their dreams, it’s often on my mind if people are being moved by the exhaustion of discomfort or the dream of more joy.  But this week I’ve heard 3 times for three different people, the same thing, in three slightly different ways.

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Creating from fear, scarcity or lack won’t work long term.

Creating from gratitude, joy and excitement always will.

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And I know that energetically, this will always make sense.  You attract your energetic match.  So if you’re attracting new people into your business from a place of fear, they will also hold fear.  If you’re manifesting from a space of not having enough, you will never get all that you desire.

BUT…

If you’re attracting into your business from a place of KNOWING that you have the gift, that your abundance is being shared with someone who is truely going to make the most of the opportunity, you find yourself linking up with that same vibrational match.  And if you manifest from wanting to add to your already abundant being, you’ll find you can have more than you could ever dream.

AND ALSO…

Coming from a place of indifference (and even a bit of arrogance) will attract into you that same vibrational match.

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So ask yourself, where am I attracting from?

How can I raise my vibration to find myself in alignment with my desires?

What activities, people, sounds and smells will ignite this feeling?

EVEN - what foods are raising my frequency in life right now?

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Constantly connect to things that raise your inner vibration.

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And start THERE.

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Because from that inner frequency, you’ll attract your match.

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RECENT MUSINGS:

SPRING 2020

Well what a surprise 2020 was, right?

And I say surprise instead of the words that usually come up around this year (shit show, nightmare, freaking disaster) because our mind is ALWAYS LISTENING and our body reacts accordingly. So if you use words like inconvenient or interesting instead of the big, dramatic words, your body actually changes its state around a memory. Interesting, right? I’ll talk more on that another day if you’d like, let me know in the comments.

But today marks the first day of SPRING. And I’m sure your inbox is flooded with reminders.

I wanted to give you some things I do to mark a new season.

What I love about Spring in particular (other than the fact that it isn’t cold, I find the cold harder to deal with), is that it’s all about fresh starts, rebirth and beginnings.

And, I think many of us are feeling the desire for some fresh energy right now. So I’m going to share my Spring Intentions with you in the hopes it will ignite you to get purposeful and create your own intentions and rituals.

Intentions

To focus less on what’s going wrong, and more on what’s going right

It is not the collective anger, fear, rage and suffering that will bring the world into a good place. Those emotions will bring us further down, lower the overall vibration of the planet. Instead, it’s the collective hope, gratitude and joy that lifts us up as a community.

Last week I had an IG DM from someone who was struggling with negativity. She is doing AMAZING work in the world, finding pedofile accounts on IG and reporting them to be taken down. But she mentioned to me how while doing this work, she couldn’t feel anything but anger and rage, which is completely understandable. How could you feel joy when you’re seeing pages dedicated to the exposure of innocent children to sexual predators? I’d be fuming also.

This is work that NEEDS to be done. It’s beyond necessary in a time when this crisis is so big and for whatever reason, the media tends to turn a blind eye to it.

But, rage isn’t a nice emotion and I honestly believe that in order to manifest, you’ve got to love the way it’s feeling.

So my advice to her was, instead of focusing on all the things that make her angry in that moment, focus on the amazing work she is doing. Visualise the future when this is completely wiped out. Think about the children she is saving from being exposed to this whenever an account is taken down. Think about all the good that will come from her hard work.

And this reminded me, in a time when there is so much division and frustration around other peoples actions, to focus on what we can do and the positives that are coming from such a time in our world.

TO SLOW DOWN AND SAY NO A WHOLE LOT MORE

And sometimes not a ‘no’, but a ‘not right now’. For the people pleasers in the crowd, I feel you! It’s a constant and never ending journey for me to hone in on what I need and stop doing for others when my cup is overflowing for others.

So I’m making sure at the start of each week that I have an abundance of free time in my calendar. Not to do nothing, but to have space to do what I want to do in those moments. And telling people when I’m in need of introvert time. That’s always the hard part for me.

to tune in deeper with my cycle

I’ve followed Cycle Syncing for a little over a year now but never with the full intensity I feel it deserves.

Recently I purchased this book and it’s given me more knowledge on how I can support myself during my cycle. I’d love to go deeper into this, but in short right now, this means clearing my schedule on days 1 and 2, booking interviews and photoshoots when I’m ovulating and getting intentional about when I’m communicating important things with people I love.

Rituals

I’m a creature of habit, so my mornings are usually pretty much the same. But I have found myself lately floating around the house and just doing things as I feel like doing them.

• Going into the office when I wake up because I remember I have someone to reply to.

• Cleaning the kitchen midday because I walk past and it’s messy.

• Laying on the couch and scrolling my phone because I’m tired.

And these are all the benefits of working from home, but I found I was never really disconnecting from any task because I was constantly in and out of all of them.

But while we can decide we’re going to work out, meditate more, save money, eat better etc. it can actually be hard to remember all these things when life gets on top of us. So instead of making it hard, I make it simple. This is done by creating triggers around my home so that I’m constantly being reminded of the rituals I want to continue with.

Things like -

• Placing my workout clothes next to my bed so I know when I wake up, I’m straight into movement.

• Leaving my phone to charge near my meditation chair so I know I’m not on it until after I’ve reconnected to myself and taken some time to empty my mind.

• Having a lemon, knife and tea mug on the kitchen bench so I’m reminded to start my day with that.

• My new Luna High Vibe Spray on my desk to scent the room before I start working.

• A full Living Water Bottle to make sure I remember to get hydrated while I’m getting into flow with my work.

• After I make my bed, placing whatever book I’m reading on my pillow so I remember when I get back into bed to wind down, I read at least one chapter. Right now I’m loving this book!

And all of this happens because at night, I have a short list that reminds me to set this up for the following day. Water bottles filled, sprays out, lemon ready, clothes out. It takes me less than 5 minutes to prep for the next day and since I’ve started this the results are so great. I’m creating habits. Which I can keep for good if I do them long enough!

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Bonus Spring Starters

On top of getting clear on the above for me today, I also have done a few other things to really start the season feeling aligned.

I pull an angel card for this season. This is what I got -

I fill out my Intentional Living Workbook to make sure I’m going deep into what I want to consciously co-create over the next 3 months.

Plus - I take time to get rid of anything that has been sitting stagnant physically for me. For you this could be clutter, a relationship that’s holding you back from being your best self, or even weight gain.

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I hope that this has been helpful, and gives you a little nudge to create your own ritual for the new season. It’s a beautiful time to be alive.

WHY I FORGIVE

This is one of my favorite topics and can be such a game changer for any transformation that affects all of your relationships and, very importantly, your HAPPINESS.

Forgiveness is turning your energy another way. 

Looking in a different direction to the pain, hurt, anger you may have felt.  

Seeking out the opposite to what you’re seeing and feeling.

Forgiveness is FREEING yourself.  Not the other person.  Freeing yourself from the story and seeing the other person as anything other than a loving being in your world.

And this doesn’t even need to effect the person who you’re forgiving. You don’t even need to tell them. It can be your own personal journey and when you really understand it, it’s beautiful.

So, let’s do an activity…

I’d love for you to do this while sitting, with a journal and in a quiet space.

Think of someone who you hold a story that they have WRONGED you. 

Think of the things they have done, how angry you felt, think of all the WRONGS you believe they have pressed against you.

Feel that in your body.  Take note of what you feel and where.  It’s not nice, is it?

Now see that person in your minds eye. 

See that person and the child within them that is searching and not knowing. 

See that person for all the GOOD they have done for you. 

See that person for all the beauty that is within them.

And to really top it off, add the cream to that inner work you’re doing in this moment - see the situation and find the blessing. 

Find why you’re grateful for whatever transpired between you and this person. 

Find the lesson, the blessing and the gift you received.

Do you feel it now?  Do you feel that release, relaxation and replenishment?  Do you feel the lightness of just loving someone for all that they are and the best that they are always trying to do.

This feeling… THAT is why we forgive.  

Not to let someone off the hook for bad behaviour.

Not to lower your standards of how you want to be treated.

Not to make someone else feel comfortable.

But to free YOU. To hold your standards high of where your precious energy will go.

To make yourself comfortable.

To be responsible for your own part in every situation.

I would love for you to share below how this has helped you. Your comments light me up more than you would know!

THE BEST PARENTING ADVICE I'VE EVER RECIEVED

For all the mamas, soon to be mamas and want to be mamas. This is some sage advice I want to pass to you.

To give some background if you’re new here or don’t know much about me… I have two beautiful, spirited, clever little girls. Bo is 7 and Harper is 3. My ex husband lives most of his time in the USA, starting his empire and so that means the girls are with me full time, most of the time.

I am also a working mama. On top of the mentoring and coaching I do within the Gratitude Gang, I also am constantly creating new content and finding talent to educate our members of the Health Hub. Throw in weekly interviews for various podcasts, the occasional photo shoot for brands and content creation - work is busy.

And then, attentive girlfriend to my man and half time help when his two girls are with us half of the week. All the cooking, cleaning, homework, playing and other jobs that come with being a mum.

My hands are full and so is my heart. Life is good!

But one thing I’ve struggled with since the transition from being a single mum of 2 and only having my girls 50% of the time when my ex husband lived here, to now having them 100% of the time, is the balance of spending enough time in all the areas.

My kids need me.

My business needs me.

My partner wants me.

Seeing my parents and friends are important to me.

The kitchen needs me.

The laundry needs me.

Having me time is important to me.

So I started to feel challenged around the juggle. I was used to 3 days where I would work, socialise, get the house ready and nail life. Then 3-4 days of mum life and the work juggle.

And one thing that always pulled at my heart-strings was my kids wanting my attention, always just when I sat at my computer, or pulled out my phone to do some work.

EVERY - DAMN - TIME.

Anyone else experience this?

So I enrolled in an online parenting course that I had heard about MULTIPLE times and decided to actually do it. I had heard Amy on a podcast and knew she aligned with my desired method of parenting.

And one of the first things she will teach you, is one of the most valuable.

MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME.

Essentially, it’s mini ‘mummy dates’ with each child. Ten minutes every single day, same time of day, one child at a time. This is 10 minutes of time to do WHATEVER they want to do. Play dolls, make something in the kitchen, have a chat, go for a bike ride.

And let me get this straight, it’s not the only time you will spend with your kids that day - obviously.

But it is scheduled, important and focused time with each child. No phone around. No place to be.

Just you, and your child. Connecting. How they want.

Now listen, with all the stuff going on with lock down, it was pretty simple. We were home all the time each day. But now that school is back and routine is happening again, this is something that needs to be a priority.

The magic is, that each time you do this, you show your child that they’re important and special. They belong and they’re significant. And at the end of ten minutes when the timer may go off you can say “same time tomorrow?” and they don’t BEG for more minutes because they know that everyday, you have special time with them. Just them. Doing just what they want.

Our children want to know they are significant to us and that they belong. I’ve found that this time fills up their love cup and gives us the connection that sometimes we go a few days without feeling, especially when there is so much going on at home.

It’s been a game changer.

You can learn more about Positive Parenting Solutions by clicking HERE.

And I’d love to know below - what is the BEST parenting advice you have ever received?

GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN WITHOUT NAGGING OR YELLING!

I'M BACK AND THIS IS WHERE I WENT

It was almost two years ago that I decided to take a break from blogging.

To be honest, it was when I realised that things were going to be changing and I knew I’d need the space to handle it. I mean, can you imagine going through trying to save your relationship, eventually uncoupling, a TIA stroke, heart surgery and finding new love… and feeling the desire to be consistently truthful and vulnerable in this space?

I’m also super aware of the influence words can have. And in navigating my uncoupling, I wasn’t willing to share that process. Why? Because if someone, going through the same type of thing, was to read what we were doing, and it wasn’t right for them, it could’ve been detrimental for their relationship. I’m not a expert on uncoupling. I’m not an expert on saving a relationship that feels like it’s finished. So it simply wasn’t right to share.

And it was hard. There were days, and sometimes weeks that I wanted to hide from the entire world (and there are still those days). But the incredible thing that happened was that I got to put all ‘the work’ into practice. I got to see what really helps when things are completely unravelling, when your world feels like it’s ending.

And I did some things really well.

And I sucked sometimes too.

But I really got to know myself. I opened up in a new way that felt, and still feels, so good. Almost every person close to me in my life witnessed my walls and barriers come down, and the real, emotional, raw me come out of hiding for the first time in my life. My relationships with some friends deepened because they finally felt they were getting Ange, not the version that I felt ‘safe’ showing. Some people weren’t ask keen on this side of me, so some friendships started to dissipate because expectations couldn’t be met on both sides.

And that was all ok.

Because I trust in the universe. Even in those really shitty moments. The day I had my stroke and I lost my vision while I was reading on the couch. Going home after each test, alone, and not having a partner to cuddle and tell me it was all going to be ok. When I was questioning how I could be a solo mother and build a business. I always knew two things -

That it was all happening for a reason.

AND

That for things to get better - it was up to me.

So lots of changes happened. I stopped people pleasing to the level I always have (still working on this!). I became ok with my life not being perfectly mapped out in the socially acceptable way. I worked towards getting better at the areas where I was challenged.

I opened up to love.

Loving myself.

Loving my situation.

Loving the WHOLE journey.

And while I’ll never give you a ‘happily-ever-after’ conclusion. This is where I’m at now.

Happy.

Content.

Growing.

And I’m excited to be back and sharing what I’m learning along the journey.

Thank you for coming with me.

P.S. I would love to know how I can best share here. Comment below and tell me what you would like to hear more of, learn more about and see more. It would mean the WORLD to me!

COMPARISON FOR PERCEPTION

After having a day with the Gratitude Gang yesterday working on our 2018 Intentions, I realised two things. 

:: ACCEPTANCE was a big part of 2017 for me

:: I didn't do enough GRATITUDE

Yup, I have a business called the Gratitude Project and I didn't live my truth this year. 

It wasn't easy.  This year saw more tears, more moments of exhaustion and more sadness than ever before.  But this year also saw more good than I've ever had or experienced.  

As high as I went, I fell that low.  

So this morning I set myself up on my balcony to journal.  In the background, Bo was playing with her new talking toy from Santa.  Harper was banging a hairbrush and singing very loud with the beat.  Somehow they had turned the TV on (sports channel, of all things) and I had my mantras playing on the Bose.  

So. Much. Noise. 

 

But I was set down on the mat, ready to journal and I wasn't giving up. 

So instead of doing what's been easy for me this year, blaming my environment on my state, I took charge of how I wanted to feel.  I wrote.  I wrote about why I was grateful for the noise and messiness of my home.  I wrote about how lucky I am to have these two little girls in my life.  I wrote about where I'm lucky enough to be sitting, with limited beach views and a breeze.  

And I realised as I was writing that I was comparing.  

But... Isn't comparison wrong?!

I've always lived by this truth, don't compare.  It doesn't help.  I remember Julie Parker once saying that comparison is just procrastination.  But, here I am, using my gratitude practice to compare to others.  

"How lucky I am to have these children, some other people would give anything to have their own"

"This breeze, this beautiful breeze I have when some people are trapped in places where they won't feel this air on their body"

And it got me thinking that maybe comparing is ok, maybe we can compare at times.  With boundaries. 

:: I choose not to use comparison to feel superior to another human, but to bring acknowledgement to my current situation. 

:: I choose not to use it to bring others down, but to give myself perception of what I have in my life. 

:: And I could even choose to use it to help others when the situation permits.  

So next time I'm using comparison to bring myself down, I'm going to remember that there are moments when I use it to lift me up.  I get to choose how I do it.  

I just need to stay conscious. 

TANTRUMS, CONSCIOUS PARENTING AND PURPLE DRAGONS

It's been on my mind lately that there has to be a better way when it comes to disciplining our children.

The thing is, we can forget at times that they can't control their emotions. Sometimes, I see my daughter getting so worked up, so out of control, so up in emotion-ville that I don't actually know what to do.

 

What do I do most of the time? I go kind of crazy with her.

And I'll tell you what works - definitely not that.

Tantrums can be a sign that a child feels out of control or unheard and that's one thing I know for sure. Now, I'm definitely not the perfect parent but one thing that I do try to do is check in with myself when things are getting a little bit crazy and even remember to check in with myself when things are going well so I can document what works with our family.

When Bo is having a meltdown, I know that I need to love on her and listen to her. I know that she needs time together instead of time out. Not praise. Not making it okay to have a tantrum but just sitting with her and listening and understanding her, not trying to tell her what to do.

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I think that's the biggest issue we face as parents. When our children are not acting the way our expectations require, we discipline, we shut them down, we tell them that their opinion doesn't matter right now and we're right and they are wrong. They should be acting how we want them to. Rarely do I see someone control a tantrum otherwise, unless there's fear or bribery around it.

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One thing that I know to be true is that when Bo can't control her emotions, me sitting with her, listening and understanding what she's going through, makes such a difference to her state and mine because, not only does she get to calm down but, I get to be present with myself and with her.

This is creating amazing habits for our children in the future. I mean, monkey see, money do. I know that I am guilty of getting bored and going into the kitchen and picking around at what I can find and I've seen my daughter do that too. I knew from the beginning, that it was a habit that she might pick up so I know that now I've got to be more mindful of that.

I can't discipline her for doing what it is that I do, we have to check in together and make changes that are sustainable for the growth of us both.

Another thing that I know helps when it comes to tantrums and children not being able to get out of that disruptive state is to start being creative.

I remember one night, being at a friend's house for dinner and her daughter was getting really worked up about something. I can't remember what it was but it was some issue that really was affecting her. I could see that she couldn't control her emotions and I could also see that things were really starting to get out of hand.

So, while we were sitting at the dinner table, I looked out the window, jumped up quickly and shouted, "Oh my goodness, I just saw a purple dragon fly past the window!" All of a sudden, my friend's child was amerced in what it was that I was seeing. She ran to the window, smiling, looking around, I went with her and I told her that it must have flown away but I was explaining to her what the purple dragon looked like and she was taken out of her hectic state and put into one of curiosity and excitement.

The tantrum was forgotten and all was well.

I encourage you, when you think about disciplining your children, to just check in with yourself as to where your intention is at? Is your intention to turn your child into the child that you believe they should be, to act the way that you believe they need to act? Or is your intention to listen, be with them and guide them as they develop into the person that they need to be to live the best life that they need to live?

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If you loved reading this, it would mean the world if you would hit the share button below and share this with the parents in your life. And if you have any great tips for conscious parenting, I would love to read them in the comments below!