WHY I FORGIVE

This is one of my favorite topics and can be such a game changer for any transformation that affects all of your relationships and, very importantly, your HAPPINESS.

Forgiveness is turning your energy another way. 

Looking in a different direction to the pain, hurt, anger you may have felt.  

Seeking out the opposite to what you’re seeing and feeling.

Forgiveness is FREEING yourself.  Not the other person.  Freeing yourself from the story and seeing the other person as anything other than a loving being in your world.

And this doesn’t even need to effect the person who you’re forgiving. You don’t even need to tell them. It can be your own personal journey and when you really understand it, it’s beautiful.

So, let’s do an activity…

I’d love for you to do this while sitting, with a journal and in a quiet space.

Think of someone who you hold a story that they have WRONGED you. 

Think of the things they have done, how angry you felt, think of all the WRONGS you believe they have pressed against you.

Feel that in your body.  Take note of what you feel and where.  It’s not nice, is it?

Now see that person in your minds eye. 

See that person and the child within them that is searching and not knowing. 

See that person for all the GOOD they have done for you. 

See that person for all the beauty that is within them.

And to really top it off, add the cream to that inner work you’re doing in this moment - see the situation and find the blessing. 

Find why you’re grateful for whatever transpired between you and this person. 

Find the lesson, the blessing and the gift you received.

Do you feel it now?  Do you feel that release, relaxation and replenishment?  Do you feel the lightness of just loving someone for all that they are and the best that they are always trying to do.

This feeling… THAT is why we forgive.  

Not to let someone off the hook for bad behaviour.

Not to lower your standards of how you want to be treated.

Not to make someone else feel comfortable.

But to free YOU. To hold your standards high of where your precious energy will go.

To make yourself comfortable.

To be responsible for your own part in every situation.

I would love for you to share below how this has helped you. Your comments light me up more than you would know!

AUTUMN MEANINGS AND ENERGIES TO EXPLORE

We’re officially halfway through Autumn and I’ve spent the last 6 weeks diving deep into doing everything seasonally.  

I mean everything!  

The next few weeks I’m going to have a focus on seasonal eating, seasonal beauty, seasonal self-care and everything else that is exciting me lately.  

But I wanted to start by unpacking the spiritual side of this season. 

It’s always been a favourite of mine.  Here in Australia, Autumn doesn’t mean the leaves turning and dropping, leaving a blanket of orange, yellow and red on the ground.  It basically just means you use a blanket at night.  So it’s not quite as dramatic as some places in the world but still a beautiful reason to view and adjust your rituals and belief systems as needed.   

So, what is it that I have found this 3 month period of the year to mean for me?

Autumn is all about change.  

Shedding what no longer serves you.  

Change, transformation, transition. 

I believe this time of year is about releasing and letting go, slowing down and preparing for Winter.  It’s a time to look at the BS (belief systems, not what you were thinking!) that aren’t serving you and get into action with removing the doubt, self-sabotage and frustrations that can come up in the months prior.  

I believe it’s about both releasing and embracing.  Saying goodbye to the parts of you that aren’t serving your path and allowing yourself to be secure and confident in exposing the parts of you that are sometimes hidden.  

I believe that in the way animals prepare to hibernate and stock up for winter ahead, it’s also important for us to prepare to be a little more intentionally isolated so that we can connect back with ourselves.  

Find comfort. 

Find balance. 

Find acceptance in releasing what you no longer need to hold onto.  

Enjoy letting the parts of you that need to go, go.  

I would love to know what you feel you want to let go of this season? What parts of yourself are you going to allow to drop off and float gently where they belong?

TANTRUMS, CONSCIOUS PARENTING AND PURPLE DRAGONS

It's been on my mind lately that there has to be a better way when it comes to disciplining our children.

The thing is, we can forget at times that they can't control their emotions. Sometimes, I see my daughter getting so worked up, so out of control, so up in emotion-ville that I don't actually know what to do.

 

What do I do most of the time? I go kind of crazy with her.

And I'll tell you what works - definitely not that.

Tantrums can be a sign that a child feels out of control or unheard and that's one thing I know for sure. Now, I'm definitely not the perfect parent but one thing that I do try to do is check in with myself when things are getting a little bit crazy and even remember to check in with myself when things are going well so I can document what works with our family.

When Bo is having a meltdown, I know that I need to love on her and listen to her. I know that she needs time together instead of time out. Not praise. Not making it okay to have a tantrum but just sitting with her and listening and understanding her, not trying to tell her what to do.

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I think that's the biggest issue we face as parents. When our children are not acting the way our expectations require, we discipline, we shut them down, we tell them that their opinion doesn't matter right now and we're right and they are wrong. They should be acting how we want them to. Rarely do I see someone control a tantrum otherwise, unless there's fear or bribery around it.

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One thing that I know to be true is that when Bo can't control her emotions, me sitting with her, listening and understanding what she's going through, makes such a difference to her state and mine because, not only does she get to calm down but, I get to be present with myself and with her.

This is creating amazing habits for our children in the future. I mean, monkey see, money do. I know that I am guilty of getting bored and going into the kitchen and picking around at what I can find and I've seen my daughter do that too. I knew from the beginning, that it was a habit that she might pick up so I know that now I've got to be more mindful of that.

I can't discipline her for doing what it is that I do, we have to check in together and make changes that are sustainable for the growth of us both.

Another thing that I know helps when it comes to tantrums and children not being able to get out of that disruptive state is to start being creative.

I remember one night, being at a friend's house for dinner and her daughter was getting really worked up about something. I can't remember what it was but it was some issue that really was affecting her. I could see that she couldn't control her emotions and I could also see that things were really starting to get out of hand.

So, while we were sitting at the dinner table, I looked out the window, jumped up quickly and shouted, "Oh my goodness, I just saw a purple dragon fly past the window!" All of a sudden, my friend's child was amerced in what it was that I was seeing. She ran to the window, smiling, looking around, I went with her and I told her that it must have flown away but I was explaining to her what the purple dragon looked like and she was taken out of her hectic state and put into one of curiosity and excitement.

The tantrum was forgotten and all was well.

I encourage you, when you think about disciplining your children, to just check in with yourself as to where your intention is at? Is your intention to turn your child into the child that you believe they should be, to act the way that you believe they need to act? Or is your intention to listen, be with them and guide them as they develop into the person that they need to be to live the best life that they need to live?

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If you loved reading this, it would mean the world if you would hit the share button below and share this with the parents in your life. And if you have any great tips for conscious parenting, I would love to read them in the comments below!